Iyanla Vanzant

Born: September 13, 1953

Occupation: Spiritual teacher

Quotes of Iyanla Vanzant

Iyanla Vanzant

Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it's the place where we find the deepest heartache.

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Iyanla Vanzant

There is nothing you need to do to make yourself more acceptable to God. You don't have to work harder, nor do you need to change the kind of work you do. You don't have to give more money to charitable...

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be loved, feel love, know love, you seek out what you think love should look like. When you find love, or what...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change

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Iyanla Vanzant

You have a right to your thoughts and feelings. Your feelings are always valid.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You've got to be willing to lose everything to gain yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

No storm can last forever. It will never rain 365 days consecutively. Keep in mind that trouble comes to pass, not to stay. Don't worry! No storm, not even the one in your life, can last forever.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. People may not like what you do, people may not like...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You must earn what you have. Life does not give you anything. You must give in order to get. You must stand up to the very thing that challenges you, look it in the face, get clear about your intention,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everything you have done and been through is valuable and important. In order to be who you are, to know what you know, to be where you are in this moment, you needed to go through what you went through.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Don't get hung up on the hard times, the challenges. Tell your story by highlighting the victories. Because it's your victories that will inspire, motivate, encourage other people to live their stories...

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Iyanla Vanzant

What looks like a failure teaches us what not to do, what does not work. We have lessons to learn from our experiences.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When your life is working there will be an absence of drama

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you make a decision and a commitment to do something good for yourself, it is like dropping a pebble in a pond. It has a rippling effect. The firmer the decision, the stronger the frequency and wider...

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you don't have a vision you're going to be stuck in what you know. And the only thing you know is what you've already seen.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Changing your life does not always mean that you stop doing certain things. It may mean that you start doing certain other things. What you really want to do is nurture the attitude that you are open to...

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Iyanla Vanzant

At every single moment, we are given the opportunity to choose our future. What we do today will determine what we face next week, next month, or next year. It is at the moment of a particular occurrence...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You can't just cry about the pain. You can't just pray about the pain. You must eliminate the pain.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everything is just as it needs to be. And if we would forgive, our minds and hearts would open and we could see another possibility.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Your divine mate already exists. When you get to the place in yourself that is peaceful divine love, your true mate will be revealed.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The only thing that goes on in your life is what your allow to go on in your life

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everything God does is purposeful. And since God is in each of us, each of us has a purpose.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If someone has offended you, insulted you, or disappointed you, let it go! If you are remembering all the ways you have been hurt or forgotten, let it go! Ask yourself, what good does it do for me to hold...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Just for today, allow yourself to embrace all that you are every moment. Know that you are a vessel of light. Allow yourself to release all doubts about your ability, the mistakes of the past, the fear...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Change doesn't have to be hard, and healing doesn't have to hurt. Surely by now you know that every thing happens for a reason! There is something better awaiting you on the other side of this.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You cannot make your life move faster than it's moving. No matter how urgent your situation may seem to be, things are going to happen when they happen, not a minute sooner. Be patient with yourself. Be...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors and providers for their children.

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Iyanla Vanzant

A man can't be in the space where there is feminine rage and bitterness. He doesn't know how to navigate it.

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Iyanla Vanzant

This is probably one of the most difficult challenges any parent could face - learning to love the other parent enough to make the children first.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Why are you measuring? This is how you block, delay, hinder, obstruct and deny his place in the life as a father.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You are demonstrating to men that they can come back and get their kids. All of those fatherless sons and daddy-less daughters and the men who didn't know how to go back, you are demonstrating to the world...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You never put her in your heart.

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Iyanla Vanzant

There are going to be moments today you don't like me. You'll get over it.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When I say to you, sister-woman, 'You out of order', that isn't an attack on you. I know what I'm looking at. I'm looking at your life, and I see what's there.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Sitting alone, listening to the sound of your breath, the beating of your heart is a reminder that you are sacred and blessed.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Forgiveness is not about the other person or what they did. Forgiveness is for YOU and about YOU.

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Iyanla Vanzant

It’s self-full to be first, to be as good as possible to you. To take care of you, keep you whole and healthy. That doesn’t mean you disregard everything and everyone. But you want to come with your...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Set an intention to heal any unexpressed anger that may be present in your life. Go to a quiet place with pen and paper. Take a few deep breaths. Ask your anger to speak to you. Write down the thoughts...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Forgive yourself for believing things about yourself that are not true. Forgive yourself for believing that you were anything other than a child of God. Then, after forgiving yourself for believing the...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Once you get clear on who you are, what you do, and what you have been CALLED to do, you become powerful.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Wherever your gift is, that's where it's going to be your greatest challenge.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Gratitude is like a magnet; the more grateful you are, the more you will receive to be grateful for.

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Iyanla Vanzant

We think we have to do something to be grateful or something has to be done in order for us to be grateful, when gratitude is a state of being.

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Iyanla Vanzant

What keeps us from achieving our heart's desires is not anything outside of us, it's the conflict inside.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you believe, or are led to believe, you are unable to act upon the greatest desires of the soul, the result is mental and spiritual enslavement.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Plan your hours to be productive...Plan your weeks to be educational...Plan your years to be purposeful. Plan your life to be an experience of growth. Plan to change. Plan to grow.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Most of us know exactly what it is that creates the pain, confusion, stagnation and disruption in our lives. When we find something or someone creating in our lives that which we do not want, we must muster...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Until you make peace with your difficult memories, that pain will continue to bleed into your current and future experiences.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Forgiveness leads to a shift in perception. It transforms the hurt into healing.

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Iyanla Vanzant

We can think, speak, and bring the best possible outcome into existence by focusing on where we are going, not on where we think we are.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When we want to move beyond the pain, when we want to feel better, when we are ready to move beyond where we are, emotionally and spiritually, we must forgive.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you're the strong one, people don't give you permission to hurt.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Our beliefs are what create our experiences. As we change our beliefs, we alter our perception, our version of reality.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You cannot get to where you are going until you have learned all there is to learn about where you are.

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Iyanla Vanzant

With all things in life, we do not get what we ask for, we get what we expect.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Speak and live in simple sentences. Bring closure -- put a period to -- those experiences that you don't want to carry on forever and ever. Use commas in those places where you're still growing... and...

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Iyanla Vanzant

WE [black women] HAVE ADAPTED TO A SOCIETY THAT DOES'NT HONOR US.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Do what brings you joy, and your purpose will unfold.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Accept all invitations to do a new thing. Dare not limit yourself. Move toward your wildest #‎ dream , take the labels off your mind, and step boldly into your greatness.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You are always being prepared for something better or protected from something worse.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You can't do anything as long as you are afraid of what might happen. Fear clouds opportunities, erases possibilities, and limits the ability to move beyond the place in which the mind is stuck. No matter...

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Iyanla Vanzant

We all want to be liked, loved, or needed. That is fine. What is not fine is what we are willing to do to make sure we are liked, or loved or needed. When we make the needs and wants of others a priority...

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Iyanla Vanzant

The ego encourages you to constantly prove yourself and what you already know. When you are in the presence of someone you feel the need to impress, the ego's automatic response is 'I know.' The moment...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I am the one I have been looking for.

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Iyanla Vanzant

It's important that we share our experiences with other people. Your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission...

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Iyanla Vanzant

The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don't want.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Remain open. There is something bigger than you know going on here.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You can never love anyone to your own detriment. That is not love, that is possession, control, fear, or a combination of them all.

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Iyanla Vanzant

One way to eliminate self negating thoughts and behavior is by gaining more understanding through realizing that you cannot force others to see that what you feel is real.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Before you find out who you are, you have to figure out who you aren't..

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everyone has a purpose because God is a purposeful God.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into destruction.

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Iyanla Vanzant

In the process of planning and having a wedding, I forgot there would actually be a marriage, a union of minds, bodies, souls, and issues that would come together as soon as the ceremony was over.

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Iyanla Vanzant

So many of us invest a fortune making ourselves look good to the world, yet inside we are falling apart. It's time to invest on the inside.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Education does not take place when you learn something you did not know before. Education is your ability to use what you have learned to be better today than you were yesterday.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Fear wears so many clever disguises it is virtually impossible to always recognize it. Fear disguises itself as the need to be somewhere else, doing something else, not knowing how to do something or not...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Release and detach from every person, every circumstance, every condition, and every situation that no longer serves a divine purpose in your life. All things have a season, and all seasons must come to...

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Iyanla Vanzant

What is it that would make a creature as fierce, majestic and powerful as a lion is, subject itself to the intimidation of a man a whip and a chair? The lion has been taught to forget what it is.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Their issues are not your issues.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you enter a new experience, all that requires healing rushes to the surface . . . You have to pause.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You know why the road curves as you're driving along? It curves because if God showed us the distance from where we are to where we’re going, we’d think it was too far.

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Iyanla Vanzant

We are distracted from our greatness because are greatness is what scares us. Right where you are…God is.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you don't show up as who you are, people fall in love with who you're not. Then when they find out who you are, that's when they leave.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Loving yourself has nothing to do with being selfish, self-centered or self-engrossed. It means that you accept yourself for what you are. Loving yourself means that you accept responsibility for your...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Breathing deeply and releasing fear will help you get to where you want to be.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Your job, work, life assignment must be the spark that fuels your fire. It must be a passion that you pursue. You must want it enough to do it for free. You must be willing to stick with it, taking the...

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you don't enjoy your life, sorrow, sadness, suffering, fear, shame and guilt will.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You are the light of the world. You are an instrument of the Divine. You are the greatest miracle in the world. Life is graced by your presence.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Today, I choose awareness. I choose to be aware of the beauty of life and living. I choose to be aware of the simple pleasures in life. I choose awareness of joy, awareness of peace, and awareness of love.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Anger is a little thing. Hate is a little thing. Order is a little thing. Each of these little things has a major impact on the big picture. Right thinking, right action, and right response to the little...

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you refuse to pay attention to what life is saying to you, life will make its point very clear. Life wants us to be aware of ourselves so we can make the necessary adjustments in order to live more...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You will stumble at time, forget what you want, fall headfirst into your old habits and beliefs. Fear not! Always remember to be patient and loving with yourself and others because that is what God does...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Your greatest adversary is also your greatest teacher. Like it or not, it is the job of certain people to bring out the worst in you. What they trigger is already in you. They are here to reveal the sore,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

The best students get the hardest lessons.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you have something to do life will not allow you to ove foward until you do it.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Each of us was born to fulfill a divine purpose. As we open our hearts and minds to a new way of being, the purpose of our lives unfolds organically.

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Iyanla Vanzant

There are times when we do not recognize that it is time for us to move forward. When life is ready for us to move and we resist, life will move us by any means necessary. What may feel like a disaster...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You do not have to love what is going on in your life, but you must accept that it, whatever it is, is going on. As long as you do not accept reality, you are powerless to define the role you will play.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Have the courage to be exactly who you are without apology. Admit your mistakes without beating yourself up. Release all shame! Release all guilt! You cannot live if you are hiding behind what was. Focus...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Choice is a divine teacher, for when we choose we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Accept and acknowledge your own brilliance. Stop waiting for others to tell you how great you are! Believe it for yourself and about yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Be patient when it seems things are not going right and may never be right again. Accept that what is yours will come to you in the right way at just the right moment.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The key to success is not what you do, it is how you feel about what you are doing.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Each day, focus your attention on what you want. Each day, take one step that will bring you closer to it. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The key is to identify it, claim it for yourself, and believe that you...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everything we experience-no matter how unpleasant-comes into our lives to teach us something.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Forgiveness is a process of giving up the old for something new. Old experiences and memories that we hold on to in anger, resentment, shame, or guilt cloud our spirit mind. The truth is, everything that...

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Iyanla Vanzant

In silence, we have an opportunity to reflect, listen, and gain new insights about ourselves. In silence, we can think, feel, and most important of all, breathe. When you seek guidance, understanding,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

When we pray, it opens our minds to the divine consciousness of God. Prayer opens your mind to answers that have always been present.

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Iyanla Vanzant

It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Life doesn't actually knock you down. It does, however, provide you with many opportunities to evaluate your standing in life: what you stand on, what you stand for, how you stand within yourself and for...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Rather than beating yourself up for what you are not doing, appreciate and celebrate the things you are doing. When you shift your focus away from what you do not want, you can create a vision for what...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Trust is not about being comfortable. It is about being willing to move beyond your comfort zone when there is absolutely no evidence you will be supported. Think of it this way. Trust is based on your...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Tell your story because your story will heal you and it will heal someone else.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When someone entrusts their heart to you they are giving you a piece of their soul. You cannot treat the soul casually. You must protect, nurture and handle it with care.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When a thing has served its purpose, it will go away. Sometimes it will break. At other times, it will simply die off. Then, there are those times when for no reason, it will simply fall apart. If you...

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Iyanla Vanzant

When we have peace in our hearts and minds, we draw peace into our lives.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You set the standards for how you will be treated. People will treat you the exact way you treat yourself. So be good to you. Take time for yourself. Rest. Play. Shower yourself with affection, support,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

It is not your duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. The nature of their thinking is advanced or limited by their experience. In your presence, they have an opportunity to learn about...

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Iyanla Vanzant

One thing that prevents a man from being a good father is he hasn't completed being a boy.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Planning is the only way to keep yourself on track. Plan your moments to be joyous. Plan your days to be filled with peace. Plan your life to be an experience of growth. When you know where you are going,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

The life you want is on the other side of the labor pains it takes to birth it.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Choice is our point of power.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you see crazy coming, cross the street!

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Iyanla Vanzant

Love is the voice of God whispering to you from within yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

In love, there is a total acceptance of self, and a willingness to give of self without an expectation of receiving anything in return. When you love, you are not afraid to share the truth of who you are,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You cannot experience the fullness of your authentic self or life when you live to avoid hurt. You will never know the joy of love or the peaceful satisfaction of being loved if you hide from hurt.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Beloveds, you are fine, just the way you are! Perfect in your imperfection! You are divine! Growing brighter and more brilliant each day, you can accept the truth of who you are.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I'm okay, you're okay. Now let's go to work.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don't like about yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Instead of running from what you don't want, walk with commitment toward what you desire. Focus on where you are going rather than being obsessed with where you have been.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you really believe that you are worthy of the best, that you deserve the best & that there is enough of the best for you to have plenty, there will be no need for you to hold on to what you have....

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Iyanla Vanzant

When the time comes for you to make a change or to grow, the universe will make you so uncomfortable you will eventually have no choice.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I am just an ordinary person committed to doing extraordinary things.

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Iyanla Vanzant

THE KEY TO SUCCESS is not what you do, it is how you feel about what you are doing. Success begins with a positive attitude, it is the most valuable asset we may own. Success begins with a good feeling...

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Iyanla Vanzant

We set the standard of how we want to be treated. Our relationships are reflections of the relationships we have with ourselves.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The goal of life is not to win. It is to play the game with love. The rules of the game are: have a strong desire to win, believe that you are worthy of winning, have faith that you will win, and, as long...

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Iyanla Vanzant

The goal isn't to be perfect, but to be authentic!

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Iyanla Vanzant

Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Embrace the truth. Speak the truth. Be the truth. When we welcome the truth, we live our lives like it's golden.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Feminine power is silent, dark, mysterious, healing, nurturing. A woman can walk into a room and control it. She doesn't even have to open her mouth if she knows where her power is.

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Iyanla Vanzant

People have a right to change their minds and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. People change. As people change, their needs change. When people have a need, it is their responsibility to themselves...

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Iyanla Vanzant

What would it take for you to forget all your troubles? Are you willing to simply forget all your troubles today? When you remove your attention from a problem, it gets bored and moves away!

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Iyanla Vanzant

Life gives you an endless supply of do-overs.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now. When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Use your time, energy and talents to do the best you can right now. Spend no time wishing it were better

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Iyanla Vanzant

Be aware that who you are and what you have to offer can be a beacon to some lost soul.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Acknowledgemen t of what you feel, what you know, what you need is the first step toward healing.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Listen for the instruction, instead of begging for the direction.

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Iyanla Vanzant

A wound needs air in order to heal. We must talk about and expose those things which have hurt or harmed us in some way. Our wounds need nurturing care in order to heal. If we are to nurture and heal,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Create what you want as opposed to being stuck in what you didn't have.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Be willing to share all of who you are. So many of us want a partner, but we're not willing to show all of us. That's why we have a weave, we're wearing Spanx and everything is 'fine.' If you're not willing...

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you find yourself in a new situation, everything that requires healing is going to rush to the surface.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When we find ourselves in the same situation repeatedly as a result of our conditioned responses, we must stop and do a new thing. The situation may look different. The route we take there may be altogether...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Transformation doesn't have to be deep, dark and mysterious. If you screw up, fine - laugh at yourself, learn and move on.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you don't ask for what you need, the need will keep getting bigger.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Spirituality is not about what you know. It is about growing, deepening, evolving and becoming a living reflection of your spiritual identity.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Right where you are is where you need to be. Don't fight it! Don't run away from it! Stand firm! Take a deep breath. And another. And another. Now, ask yourself: Why is this in my world? What do I need...

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Iyanla Vanzant

There comes a point in time when you must know that everything you have already given or done is enough. This is not something anyone else can tell you. You must know. Giving without receiving doesn't...

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Iyanla Vanzant

The only relationship we can have in this life is the relationship we have with ourselves. We cannot love anybody more than we love ourselves. We cannot treat anyone any better than we treat ourselves....

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Iyanla Vanzant

Your purpose gave birth to you. It has molded and shaped who you are and what you do. Your purpose is the reason you live and breathe. Your purpose guides your heart, hands, and head. It is alive in you....

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Iyanla Vanzant

We're all in prison. All of us are in prison, but some of us have a key.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I am not my sister's keeper. I am my sister.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Give yourself permission to smile a lot today. In fact, why not make it a habit!

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you should encounter angry or unkind actions today, take a deep breath, reach deep within and greet the lack of love with love.

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Iyanla Vanzant

What do you do when it seems as if people want to stay in their pain. They have a story to tell and they tell you every chance they get. Well, believe it or not, they may like where they are. Our job is...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I have a body, but I am not my body. I have a face, but I am not my face.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. What you don't do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I am more troubled by the lack of space being provided for the truth to unfold. Humans cannot seem to wait...

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you gossip, it's self-hexing. Because when you do it, it comes back to you. Everything starts with the word. The word is demonstrating a condition of the mind. If it's in your mind and comes out of...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid 'no' muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. We get ostracized and challenged for saying no, so we forget it's our choice. Your 'no' muscle...

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Iyanla Vanzant

In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was 'Help me.' Sometimes a prayer was 'Thank you.' What I've discovered is that intimate connection and communication...

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Iyanla Vanzant

The remedy for life's broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don't try to heal the broken pieces. Just forgive.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Comparison is an act of violence against the self.

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Iyanla Vanzant

One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I call the BPs - blame and projection.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You've got to know what your 'thing' is, and you've got to call it a 'thing,' whether it's meanness, nastiness, un-forgiveness, arrogance, ego, resistance, rebelliousness or defiance. Everybody's got a...

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Iyanla Vanzant

All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about someone, something you haven't said to that someone.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You know that you've healed an issue when you can talk about it and you're not weeping, when you can speak to it and identify the lesson. You know that you've healed an issue when, having gone through...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Be willing to share all of who you are. So many of us want a partner, but we're not willing to show all of us.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Pain is pain, hurt is hurt, fear is fear, anger is anger, and it has no color.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Some of us pray demands. Some of us pray complaints. Some of us pray knowing, and some of us pray not knowing. But prayer is the attitude that you hold in your heart.

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Iyanla Vanzant

In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive love, create and share intimacy, and open ourselves to be available and accessible to another human being...

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you're not willing to let your partner see your cellulite or know your biggest fears, then you aren't really ready to share yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

A stable and nurturing childhood is essential for the healthy psycho-emotional and spiritual development of a human being. While we may understand what is supposed to happen to us physically, we must begin...

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Iyanla Vanzant

All things are lessons that God would have us learn.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lived it and I'm still here to talk about it and help someone else if I can.

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Iyanla Vanzant

My purpose is to teach and demonstrate what is possible. To demonstrate love of God and good. Remember what my role is as a woman: to be... good. My role as a mother: to teach, support and nurture my offspring....

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Iyanla Vanzant

We know how to be doctors, nurses, lawyers. We know how to be tweeters. We know how to be everything. But how do you just be people? How do you be present with one another? How do you be honest with one...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I surround people in unconditional acceptance and love to such a degree that everything that is unloving about them rises to the surface.

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Iyanla Vanzant

What will support any relationship is clear, complete and conscious conversations when upsets or breakdowns occur.

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Iyanla Vanzant

At your worst point, the quickest way to move through it is to be a contribution as opposed to focusing on your problems. If you focus on your problems and keep giving them attention, they're going to...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Talk about your negative experiences with the father, with your girlfriends. Not with your children. And bite your tongue when it comes to diminishing, denying, dismissing, name-calling.

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Iyanla Vanzant

In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie about who we are, what we want, what we need, what we have done or will do. Perhaps 'lie' is too strong...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You know when I was 20 and 30, they were insecurities. Now they're just a new normal. I'm 60 years old, so my expectations of who I am and how I look and how I show up in the world had to shift. Not because...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I hope that my story, I hope that my life is... an encouragement for people, especially in Brooklyn. I feel humbled and blessed.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I'm focusing on healing lives and teaching people that they can heal - giving them tools to heal.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Why can't women get along? Because we're afraid. We're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to be soft. We're afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we're afraid of our power. So we become controlling and...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I'm not sure where I heard it or why I believed it but when I was in my mid-twenties, a few words changed my approach to and experience of prayer. The words were these: 'Every thought you think is a prayer....

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Iyanla Vanzant

The thing I always tell my audiences all the time is that I'm just two steps ahead of you on a good day. And I might be two steps behind you on a bad day.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everyone has something that blocks us from the full experience and expression of our nobility.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I took my kids everywhere. I didn't have money for child care, so I took them to college with me and they sat in the hallway.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I'm really not that fierce.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you don't like your sister or don't get along with your father, let's find out if you like yourself. Let's not sugarcoat anything about it.

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Iyanla Vanzant

In 2002, my daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of colon cancer. And it was such a shock, a surprise to us.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Oprah Winfrey gives you the stage? Shut your mouth. I said, 'I'm sorry for taking over your show.' She said, 'No, that's why we have you here.'

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Iyanla Vanzant

The show is 'Fix My Life!' Get it? Life. I do not fix people.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When Oprah Winfrey tells you that you need to have your own show, you feel compelled to do it. Especially if she's gonna pay for it!

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Iyanla Vanzant

At times I have long conversations with God. Sometimes I ask questions. I admit that there are also times when I let out my frustrations, fears, and anxieties in less than honorable ways. No matter what...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I had to stop traveling alone because I missed so many planes. When somebody runs up to you in the airport and begins to tell you their life story, you can't say, 'Excuse me, boo,' as they're weeping on...

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Iyanla Vanzant

It's about your heart and about your consciousness. It's not about length of time you pray. Some of the most powerful prayers I've ever heard come from children, who can barely speak.

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Iyanla Vanzant

My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he became the filter through which I saw myself, the possibilities for my life, the world and all men. He was...

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Iyanla Vanzant

What a blessing that God allows a life to come through your body, and then allows you to place that body in a body bag and take it out. I had to say that there's a magnificent something that God has for...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Whether at work, at home or in public, we have been trained to believe that who we are at the core of our being is often unacceptable. As a result, we work diligently to live up to - and sometimes down...

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Iyanla Vanzant

After being on 'Oprah' for a couple of months, I got my first royalty check for $1,478,392.17. I will never forget it. At the height of my career, I made $3.3 million. Unbelievable. From welfare in the...

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Iyanla Vanzant

At birth, we are like cartilage - soft, flexible tissue. By the same natural process by which cartilage becomes hard bone, the soft, tender heart of an innocent child can become hardened by the circumstances...

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Iyanla Vanzant

For most of my life, I believed that my father had broken many of my bones. They were emotional and psychological bones; things no one could see, things that caused me to limp through life clutching for...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I came from nothing. I came from the projects and welfare and ended up a millionaire with no frame of reference. I was bound to hit a wall sooner or later.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I had no preconceived idea what fame would be like, because I never thought I would be famous. I just wanted to do my work. Hell, I just wanted to pay my rent on time.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I have a daily message, 'Stimumail,' which I use to stimulate the mind and heart. I have the opportunity to touch over 60,000 people I have never met. I also use Twitter and Facebook.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I knew all of the childhood prayers I uttered on my knees at the side of my bed. Many years of Sunday-school attendance had etched certain Psalms and rote prayers into the fibers of my brain. However,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I realized it was happening, but most people didn't realize it was happening. I mean, because as a self-employed person, when there is a recession or a cutback in the economy, we feel it first. Because...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I really don't have any weaknesses. I do have areas of my life that I am working on to grow, heal and evolve. Giving myself permission to rest is an area I am working on. Not rescuing my children and grandchildren...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I think as men begin to see things that address them, they will feel that they can relate. They can't relate to 'Basketball Wives,' 'Housewives of Atlanta.' I am not judging or criticizing those shows...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I think most people think that a spiritual path or growing spiritually means that all of a sudden you'll be able to forecast the six lotto numbers and all your bills will be paid.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I was sitting on the bus, and the sign said if you're ready to better your life, come to Medgar Evers College, and I got off the bus and went to Medgar Evers College.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I wasn't ready for fame and all that brings to your life. It was an amazing experience, but so overwhelming, because no one can tell you beforehand when it will happen or how it will impact you. So no...

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Iyanla Vanzant

I've always told the truth. I think that's been part of the foundation of my career. I don't put myself above people. I don't put myself different than people. And I, for one, know that none of us is immune.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you are a card-carrying human being, chances are that you share the same fear as all other humans: the fear of losing love, respect and connection to others. And if you are human, in order to avoid...

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Iyanla Vanzant

There is a lot of healing going on. Really! More people are vegetarians, more are in the green movement, more of us are tearing down the old paradigms and embracing same-sex marriage, single motherhood,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Well the beauty of 'Iyanla: Fix My Life' is that men are in every show. To our surprise, some of the deepest healing demonstrations have been with the men - the sons, the fathers, the husbands - because...

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Iyanla Vanzant

What I am doing; how I am being as I am doing it; and does it bring honor to my community? What is the lesson in what I am doing? And most importantly, am I having fun?

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Iyanla Vanzant

You know, if you're a human and living on the planet, it doesn't matter what you do; you are not immune to the challenges, the trials, the difficulty. And that fact that I happen to be a coach and a minister...

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Iyanla Vanzant

We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Acceptance means that you know, regardless of what happened, that there is something bigger than you at work. It also means you know that you are okay and that you will continue to be okay.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Learning to trust yourself and what you know takes time and work. You cannot expect to eradicate a lifetime of misguided information overnight. You must make a continuous, conscious effort to get on good...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everything happens when it needs to happen; everyone is always where they need to be. You will never miss out on what is meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way.

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Iyanla Vanzant

No matter what is going on in your life today, remember, it is only preparation. People come and go; situations rise and fall; it's all preparation for better things. You must stretch, reach, grow into...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Spirituality is a journey inward that connects the Self to yourself. When you know who you are from the inside out, when you do what you sense is right for you, when your thoughts lead you to actions that...

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Iyanla Vanzant

When there is breakdown in a relationship, you must have the hard conversation. It may not be pretty and it may not feel good. But if you are willing to listen and tell the truth, it will open up.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I now realize that just because you can take a punch does not mean you must stand in front of a fist, particularly not when the fist is your own.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you want a real experience of serenity, look for the good. Affirm the good. Acknowledge the good.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Black Girls rock because we have no other choice.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Self-worth is an understanding on the intellectual level, trusting at the heart level, and accepting at the soul level that you are worthy just because you believe that you are. Your worthiness is proven...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Always remember who you are. Know that you are never required to apologize to anyone for being yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When two broken people bring their broken pieces together, chances are they will never become a whole anything.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Till your mental soil with determination. Fertilize your emotional soil with positive words. And plant the seed of your heart's desire with your disciplined efforts.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When do you feel most loved? Are you willing to be loved today? Self-love is the magnet that attracts deep and profound expressions of love from others

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you want peace, be peace. If you want wealth, be wealth. Think it. Talk it. Prepare yourself to have it. Have faith enough to seek guidance and authority from within.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Do not be afraid to experience your emotions; they are the path to your soul. Emotions erupt to remind us we are alive, that we are human. And to let us know we are growing. Trust yourself enough to feel...

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Iyanla Vanzant

We make our days pleasant or miserable. If we insist on being miserable, irritable and nasty, more than likely the day will give us exactly what we give it. A day is too valuable to waste on misery and...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Know thyself. Accept thyself. Love thyself. No matter what you have done, where you have been, know, accept, and love who you are.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Every choice you make supersedes and overrides every other choice you make.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Be patient with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Know that all things are working in your favor. If you take one step toward the light of Spirit, Spirit will take five steps on your behalf.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Every day is your day if you claim it. If you wait for somebody else to make it for you, you're going to be disappointed.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The rules of the game of life are quite simple. Always tell the truth. Never live in fear of anything or anyone. Be conscious of what you are thinking so you can always think positively. Do everything...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You are the love you seek. You are the companionship you desire. You are your own completion, your own wholeness. You are your best friend, your confidant. 'You are,' as poetess Audre Lourde wrote, 'the...

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Iyanla Vanzant

It is a given that we will all make some mistakes in life. It is a given that you will make inappropriate choices for inappropriate reasons. They will in no way affect your worth. No matter what you say...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You are not being tested! You are being fortified! Remember, you cannot fail!

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Iyanla Vanzant

Each of us face a moment in our lives called 'the breakdown moment.' This is the time when you must stand toe to toe, eyeball to eyeball, with the very thing you have tried desperately to avoid. In that...

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self.

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Iyanla Vanzant

People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are!

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Iyanla Vanzant

Forgiveness means accepting what is or what has been and becoming willing to see it differently. You cannot un-hear what you have heard or un-see what you have seen. What you can do is stop believing that...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Many of us have a need to be right. We then set out to make ourselves right by making someone else wrong. We must get right with ourselves. Once we do, we will have so much to do, we will not have time...

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Iyanla Vanzant

It is important to acknowledge all your feelings and not beat yourself up for having them. Your feelings are not good or bad, they just are.

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Iyanla Vanzant

When you continue to give without receiving, the only thing you are proving is that you know how to be taken advantage of.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Trying to prove something to someone is never a valid reason for doing anything.

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Iyanla Vanzant

If it's not your story to tell, you don't tell it.

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Iyanla Vanzant

One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You must be ready in mind, body, and spirit before you can make a change. People cannot convince you to do it. You cannot force you to do it. Everything you think, say, and do until that happens is just...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Love is durable. It's like Teflon. ...Trust is like fine china. Secrets destroy trust.

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Iyanla Vanzant

We cannot expect to be in control of the circumstances in our lives when we cannot control our minds for five minutes. Meditation is the daily minimum requirement that will prevent us from breaking down...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Staying focused on a project or plan is one of the most difficult challenges we face. There is always the house to clean, calls to make, laundry to fold, deadlines to meet. Actually, there is only one...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Don't hold yourself back because you're afraid or because you've been hurt...acknowle dge your fear, accept it, and walk through it with confidence.

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Iyanla Vanzant

As we learn to see each other through our spiritual eyes, the physical differences will cease to matter.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The only energy that has any power in your life is the gift of breath from God.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Sometimes you have to lose everything in order to gain yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Forgive yourself for believing that youre anything less than beautiful.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs,...

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Iyanla Vanzant

You`re making it about them. This has got about you, because you don`t have peace

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Iyanla Vanzant

You`re demonstrating a courage that most people can`t even fathom: giving it all away in order to have yourself

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you heart had a voice, Beloved, what would it say?

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Iyanla Vanzant

Anger simply means that your personal power - your personal space, your personal sense of being - has been violated

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you want to be at peace, you have to be clear about your intetion and - moment by moment - in alignment with your intention

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Iyanla Vanzant

Ytalding is not always pretty or easy. And it doesn`t came quick

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Iyanla Vanzant

Love is not all that is required in a relationship. It needs understanding, openness, kidness, patience, long-suffering

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Iyanla Vanzant

When anyone makes comments that are offensive to you, would you be willing to do the teaching?

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Iyanla Vanzant

Respect you love one enough to know thay can handle your truth

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Iyanla Vanzant

Have you doubted your progress, regretted your choices, put yourself down? Remember that you are doing just fine. Remind yourself right now that no matter what it looks like, you are doing the best you...

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Iyanla Vanzant

To honor life, we must be willing to grow through what we don't know yet, and outgrow what we know no longer fits us. We must be willing to give in to the process, moment by moment, realizing a new plot...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Until you are willing to accept total and complete responsibility for every aspect of your life, your life will keep sending you experiences designed to get your attention.

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Iyanla Vanzant

I let go of the past and choose to accept every situation as being for me and not against me.

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Iyanla Vanzant

A man who is not accountable to anyone is a danger to himself

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Iyanla Vanzant

Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is carrying an umbrella. Faith is the inner sense of knowing that with divine order working on your side, all things will come together for your good. Faith is knowing...

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Iyanla Vanzant

We must learn not to give up when requirements are not met or when commitments are broken. To do so is a refusal to allow mistakes to be corrected and a demonstration of an unwillingness to forgive yourself...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Have the courage to speak your mind and tell the truth from a position of love rather than anger or fear, being open to accept the views of others without feeling threatened or defeated, relinquishing...

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Iyanla Vanzant

Never judge your clarity based on someone else's response.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The way to achieve your own success is to be willing to help somebody else get it first.

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Iyanla Vanzant

No whining, no complaining about anyone. Everybody in your life has come to teach you lessons.

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Iyanla Vanzant

It's time for you to move, realizing that the thing you are seeking is also seeking you.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Everyone is always looking for their beloved. Well, why can't you be your own beloved? Fall in love with yourself.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The way we do one thing is the way we do everything.

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Iyanla Vanzant

The way you get more is by having a daily spiritual practice.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Your eyes will adjust to the level of deficiency

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Iyanla Vanzant

Life doesn't have to be hard, life is on your side.

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Iyanla Vanzant

We gotta be willing to seek direction ... we've gotta be willing to look within.

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Iyanla Vanzant

You can direct the outcome of any situation you face through the power of thought. Keep your thoughts focused on the best possible outcome for everyone involved and never allow yourself to be pushed where...

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Iyanla Vanzant

If you don't have a test, you won't be able to have a testimony.

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Iyanla Vanzant

Stop hiding! Stop holding yourself back and playing yourself down! Stop worrying about how you look and what people are saying. Stop listening to what people are saying and trying to find out if they are...

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“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

― Dr. Seuss