Lauren DeStefano

Born: October 13, 1984

Occupation: Author

Quotes of Lauren DeStefano

Lauren DeStefano

I wonder if she has figured out that I'll never love Linden, especially not in the way she does, and that he'll never love anyone the way he loves her. I wonder if she realizes, despite all her efforts...

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Lauren DeStefano

She smiles at our husband as she moves, and he blushes, overcome by her beauty. But I know what her smile really means...Her smile is her revenge.

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Lauren DeStefano

I always knew I was an excellent liar; I just didn't know that I had it in me to fool myself.

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Lauren DeStefano

Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.

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Lauren DeStefano

I shake my head, watching snow tumble and swirl from an all-white sky. The world seems so clean if you only look up

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Lauren DeStefano

The trick was looking past the illusion, because the exit was never as far away as it seemed.

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Lauren DeStefano

who once had dreams of saving the world, now laughs at anyone who tries.

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Lauren DeStefano

So how long do you think it’ll be?” he says. “Before the next hurricane comes along to take you home.” “Can I tell you my biggest fear?” I say. “Yes. Tell me.” “That it will be a very...

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Lauren DeStefano

Tell me about yourself." "Myself?" He looks confused. "Yes," I say, patting the mattress. "You know all there is to know," he says, sitting beside me. "Not true," I say. "Where were you born? What's your...

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Lauren DeStefano

Did you tell freedom hello for me?

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Lauren DeStefano

There is no choice for him but to believe. He has nothing left to give in offering.

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Lauren DeStefano

They never exhale, the trees; on a very windy day, they rustle and inhale, and then the leaves and the branches all tremble as though something means to strangle the life from them. The sky watches on....

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Lauren DeStefano

He gathers me up and I'm weightless before he sets me on the railing. He's the only thing keeping me from falling back, out of the reach of daylight. I'm not afraid of falling. I don't fear the sky beyond...

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Lauren DeStefano

and I've always known it, the way I love a song I hear for the first time, even before I know all the words, the way I love my favorite color, and the way that the train would speed past my bedroom when...

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Lauren DeStefano

So many of the things I've wanted are the things I've been taught to fear.

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Lauren DeStefano

Maybe what frightens us about the edge isn't our fear of morality, but the thoughts it leads us to have.

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Lauren DeStefano

Every star has been set in the sky. We mistakenly think they were put there for us.

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Lauren DeStefano

Time was our very first king. We all live our lives to the aggressive ticking of the clock. We don't question that our lives are a grid of seconds; even our pulses oblige. No succeeding king can hope to...

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Lauren DeStefano

I stare at her collarbone that's framed with lace, the hollow of her throat, her shoulders that rise with each rise with the weight of her next breath. We're fragile things. Our bones show through our...

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Lauren DeStefano

I had this feeling like the solution to everything would be down there if only I could dig through all those clouds.

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Lauren DeStefano

Suddenly the clouds seem high above us. They’re moving over us in an arch, circling the planet. They have seen abysmal oceans and charred, scorched islands. They have seen how we destroyed the world....

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Lauren DeStefano

Tell freedom I said hello.

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Lauren DeStefano

The madness of youth made me unafraid.

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Lauren DeStefano

We accept gods that don't speak to us. We accept gods that would place us in a world filled with injustices and do nothing as we struggle. It's easier than accepting that there's nothing out there at all,...

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Lauren DeStefano

I wonder what it’s like for her, looking so much like a dead girl.

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Lauren DeStefano

The only characters I ever don't like are ones that leave no impression on me. And I don't write characters that leave no impression on me.

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Lauren DeStefano

Forget who you are and what you think is there, and you'll discover things that don't exist to be known.

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Lauren DeStefano

There's a hazy smile on her lips that won't go away, and her hair is a mess. It's like a brushfire filled with casualties.

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Lauren DeStefano

I'll tell you something about true love. There's no science to it. It's as natural as the sky.

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Lauren DeStefano

My head is my favorite swimming pool.

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Lauren DeStefano

It's the silence I imagine in the rest of the world, the silence of an endless ocean and uninhabitable island, a silence that can be seen from space.

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Lauren DeStefano

But instead of tears, when I press my face against the pillow, a horrible, primal scream comes out of me. It's unlike anything I thought myself capable of. Rage, unlike anything I've ever known.

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Lauren DeStefano

Real’ is a dirty word in this place.

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Lauren DeStefano

Love is not enough to keep any of us alive.

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Lauren DeStefano

For males twenty-five is the fatal age. For women it's twenty. We are all dropping like flies.

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Lauren DeStefano

On tiptoes the redhead wouldn't even reach my shoulders; she is clearly too young to be a bride. And the willowy girl is too forlorn. And I am too unwilling. Yet here we are.

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Lauren DeStefano

My worries always lead to dungeons; I can't imagine a worse thing than to be imprisoned for the rest of one's life, especially with so few years to enjoy what little there is.

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Lauren DeStefano

And if I have to die trying, I will get out of here.

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Lauren DeStefano

Poor kid,' Jenna says, and rolls her eyes toward me for a moment. Then she returns to her book. 'She doesn't even understand what kind of place this is.

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Lauren DeStefano

A party in the orange grove. The pain on Linden's face is immediate. I am unwavering. He has cost me more pain than I will ever be able to repay.

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Lauren DeStefano

Even the human race can't claim to be natural anymore. We are fake, dying things. How fitting that I would end up in this sham of a marriage.

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Lauren DeStefano

Rhine. The river that, somewhere out there, has broken free.

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Lauren DeStefano

What have you done? What have you given up?' So many things, Cecily. More than you know.

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Lauren DeStefano

Tell freedom I said hello.' 'If I happen to see it, I will.

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Lauren DeStefano

None of the wives mention the security guards by the door, who will probably tackle us to the ground if we try to leave without our husbands.

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Lauren DeStefano

I can almost see what Gabriel meant when he asked, 'What has the free world got that you can’t get here?' Almost. Freedom, Gabriel. That’s what you can’t get here.

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Lauren DeStefano

I can hear my brother's voice in my head. Your problem is that you're too emotional. But how can I not be emotional, Rowan? How can I not care?

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Lauren DeStefano

You've been captive for so long that you don't even realize you want freedom anymore.

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Lauren DeStefano

I want to make a world more magical than my own. I don't care if it makes sense, I don't care if it's ridiculed or if, rather than a neat round planet that goes around forever, it ends with a cliff that...

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Lauren DeStefano

Before I can process what’s happening, Deirdre has opened her hands and Linden has taken the ring from her and slipped it onto my finger. “Rhine Ashby,” he says. “My wife.

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Lauren DeStefano

You’re insane, you know that?” he says. “It’s the only thing keeping me afloat,” I say.

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Lauren DeStefano

‎I have always been fascinated by the ocean, to dip a limb beneath its surface and know that I'm touching eternity, that it goes on forever until it begins here again.

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Lauren DeStefano

In the distance I see a lighthouse. The light washes over us and continues on its rotation. This time, I don't know where the light will guide us.

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Lauren DeStefano

I lost everyone I loved," I tell him. I wait for him to look at me, and then I add, "The day I met you.

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Lauren DeStefano

Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.

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Lauren DeStefano

I used to have only one name; it used to mean something.

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Lauren DeStefano

I've done it all before, I tell myself, and I can do it again. Trust is the strongest weapon.

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Lauren DeStefano

Don't you miss it?" I say. "Being free." He laughs.

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Lauren DeStefano

There is warmth shooting through my broken body where there should be pain, and I put my arms around the back of his neck and I hold on to him. I hold on because you never know in this place when something...

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Lauren DeStefano

It doesn't matter how much his mother loves him; love is not enough to keep any of us alive.

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Lauren DeStefano

He kissed back, all the pages spread out around us like riddles waiting to be solved. Let them wait. Let my genes unravel, my hinges come loose. If my fate rests in the hands of a madman, let death come...

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Lauren DeStefano

I should not have loved my daughter as I did. Not in this world in which nothing lives for long. You children are flies. You are roses. You multiply and die.

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Lauren DeStefano

And then I wonder, does my brother think of me this way? We entered this world together, one after the other, beats in a pulse. But I will be first to leave it. That's what I've been promised. When we...

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Lauren DeStefano

Do you know what my father used to say?" I ask her. "He used to say that songs had a heart. A crescendo that can make all your blood rush from your head to your toes.

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Lauren DeStefano

...maybe hope isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it's what keeps us together.

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Lauren DeStefano

There's a sort of dead passion in him. A spark that, had he more years to live, would be a wildfire.

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Lauren DeStefano

Words like 'unputdownable' and 'irresistible' are simply not enough for Cat Winters's In the Shadow of Blackbirds. Days after finishing this story, it remains the first thought I have in the morning, and...

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Lauren DeStefano

Once upon a time there were two parents, two children, and a brick house with lilies in the yard. The parents died, the lilies wilted. One child disappeared. Then the other." Pg 225

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Lauren DeStefano

Kettle thingies. Yum.

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Lauren DeStefano

There was a desperate undercurrent to our marriage--a feeling of being in a dream from which I couldn't seem to awaken. A nagging sense that my life, laid out so neatly like the clothes Deirdre left on...

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Lauren DeStefano

It's never right to give up on someone.

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Lauren DeStefano

Momentum,' She repeats. 'You can't just stand there if you want something to fly. You have to run.

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Lauren DeStefano

But there’s no such thing as free. There are only different and more horrible ways to be enslaved.

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Lauren DeStefano

Love unrequited is violent. He loves you so much that he's turned it into hate.

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Lauren DeStefano

It's best to let her go," he says. No, no, that's wrong. It's never right to give up on someone.

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Lauren DeStefano

Because even if the lie is beautiful, the truth is what you face in the end.

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Lauren DeStefano

In another time, in another place, I wonder who they might have been.

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Lauren DeStefano

His three wives are huddled together on the bare mattress, one of them dying; when we're together, we form an alliance he can't touch. He's scared to even try.

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Lauren DeStefano

Fate,' I said, 'Is a theif.

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Lauren DeStefano

Gabriel's voice can reach me anywhere. Even in a hurricane.

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Lauren DeStefano

She's beautiful and graceful, and she is very compassionate and loyal when you aren't responsible for the murder of her family.

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Lauren DeStefano

And everywhere girls, tumbling from trees like orange blossoms and hitting the earth with sickening thuds. They crack open.

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Lauren DeStefano

I wish I had a memory of that first violent shove, the shock of cold air, the sting of oxygen into new lungs. Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.

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Lauren DeStefano

I figured it out eventually," she says. She's sitting on the edge of the gurney again; her features slowly materialize as my vision clears. "It's momentum." "What?" I whisper. The feeling returning to...

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Lauren DeStefano

Don't forget how you got here. Don't Forget.

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Lauren DeStefano

I don’t have too many books, I have too little shelving.

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Lauren DeStefano

No matter how lonely it makes me, and no matter how wide and horrific the loneliness, at least I remember who I am.

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Lauren DeStefano

When we were first married, I thought he must have been the most heartless, hateful man I'd ever known, but he was just as much a prisonor as I was. Where Vaughn imprisoned me with walls, he imprisoned...

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Lauren DeStefano

Life is much different from the days when there were lilies in my mother’s garden, and all my secrets fit into a paper cup.

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Lauren DeStefano

Write words you’re willing to burn at the stake for. Write words you’d believe in even if the rest of the world didn’t.

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Lauren DeStefano

You can try to please everyone and risk accomplishing nothing, or go for your dreams and risk pissing a few people off.

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Lauren DeStefano

The sullen boy sitting before me is not my husband, and the girl he is fretting over isn't me, will never be me.

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Lauren DeStefano

I think, in this strange world of beautiful things, there may be some humanity after all.

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Lauren DeStefano

We writers are resilient souls.

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Lauren DeStefano

Good night, sweetheart," he says. "Good bye, sweetheart," I say. And it's so casual, so innocent that he doesn't suspect a thing.

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Lauren DeStefano

I liked just being with you. I liked the way you breathed when you were asleep. I liked when you took the champagne glass from my hand. I liked how your fingers were always too long for your gloves.

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Lauren DeStefano

Linden just wants to protect her, is what I want to say. She's all he has. I left him. I'm at arms reach, but I've left him.

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Lauren DeStefano

Sometimes we don't know how afraid we are until we've reached a strange door and we don't know what will be on the other side.

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Lauren DeStefano

The seeds are tiny, unborn things, and I resent them. They'll be planted and they'll grow into exactly what they're meant to be.

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Lauren DeStefano

She would do anything, anything to belong to his son after a lifetime of belonging to no one at all.

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Lauren DeStefano

It was a terrible decision, and I confess I'd make it again.

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Lauren DeStefano

I want to make the world into something better so that he can be okay.

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Lauren DeStefano

I don't know if it was love or an illusion. I don't know if there's ever a way to be certain.

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Lauren DeStefano

He says one word, nodding into the daylight. "Look." It's an astounding word. It's a gift.

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Lauren DeStefano

We figure out what death means when we're born, practically, and we live our whole lives in some kind of weird denial about it.

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Lauren DeStefano

Things will get worse before they get better.

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Lauren DeStefano

We destroy things with our curiosity. We shatter with our best intentions

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Lauren DeStefano

He looks at me, and I don't know what he sees. I used to think it was Rose. But she's not here with us now, in this room. It's just him and me, and the books. I feel like our lives are in those books....

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Lauren DeStefano

Vaughn is talking about the heat, and his voice is so excited that it breaks into whispers at times. He loves his madness the way a bird loves the sky.

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Lauren DeStefano

I don't dare touch her. Loss is a knowledge I'm sorry to have. Perhaps the only thing worse than experiencing it, is watching it replay anew in someone else--all the awful stages picking up like a chorus...

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Lauren DeStefano

It's quiet for a while, and then Rowan says; "We could talk now. We're alone out here. No walls." "There are always walls." I say.

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Lauren DeStefano

When we're alive, life consumes us. But when we die, all of the color and the motion is gone so quickly, it's as though it can no longer stand to be wasted on us.

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Lauren DeStefano

We'll squeeze every second that we can from our lives, because we're young, and we have plenty of years to grow. We'll grow until we're braver. We'll grow until our bones ache and our skin wrinkles and...

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Lauren DeStefano

I wanted so badly to tell him, but something about that entire night seemed so beautiful, so bizarre, that I didn't trust it with my secrets.

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Lauren DeStefano

He sits next to me, careful to avoid my hair that's splayed out around my head like blood. A bullet to the forehead, boom, blond waves everywhere.

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Lauren DeStefano

Childhood is a long, long road, from which that dark whispering forest of death seems an impossible destination.

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Lauren DeStefano

I watch the ashes swim around like dandelion puffs, making swirls where bodies and walls once stood.

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Lauren DeStefano

A feeling can't kill you.

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Lauren DeStefano

The months fall to shards at my feet.

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Lauren DeStefano

I see an ocean that’s spilled out of a wineglass, its body clear and sparkling and folding over itself. I see a ribbon of sand.

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Lauren DeStefano

There is a silence so great that I can hear the ice crystals cracking and falling from eyelashes of girls who will never blink again.

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Lauren DeStefano

She’s a commodity in a sea of broken girls.

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Lauren DeStefano

It isn’t a perfect place. There are no perfect places. But nobody cares about perfection when there are sand castles to build and kites to chase, children that are being born, old hearts that are giving...

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Lauren DeStefano

There’s a limit to how much living can be done in a life without freedom.

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Lauren DeStefano

We were his disposable things. Brought to him like cattle. Stripped of what made us sisters or daughters or children. There was nothing that he could take from us—our genes, our bones, our wombs—that...

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Lauren DeStefano

I nod like I'm not at all unnerved by this new cold side to him. Not cruel like his father. Not warm like the husband who sought me out on quiet nights. Something in between. This Linden has never woven...

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Lauren DeStefano

Someday I'll tell you all of it," I say. "I'd like that," he says. "No," I say. "I promise you won't.

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Lauren DeStefano

I wanted to be rid of him," he says. He raises my chin with his thumb. "But not if it meant being rid of you. I climbed in beside you, and you put your head in my lap. You can't think I would have left...

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Lauren DeStefano

Ah, love. That’s what the world has lost. There’s no more love, only the illusion of it.

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Lauren DeStefano

It is the face of a girl who has seen the world, who realizes that it hates her, and who hates it in return.

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Lauren DeStefano

Lovers are weapons, but love is a wound.

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Lauren DeStefano

Living in a place like this, she must have learned how to see all the monsters that can hide a person.

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Lauren DeStefano

I'm suddenly finding it hard to know the difference between nightmares and consciousness.

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Lauren DeStefano

We can change so many times in our lives. We're born into a family, and it's the only life we can imagine, but it changes. Buildings collapse. Fires burn. And the next second we're someplace else entirely,...

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Lauren DeStefano

You have a way of looking at things. You make it seem as though everything's going to be okay. I can't imagine a more dangerous thing to have than hope like yours.

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Lauren DeStefano

I start trying to stay unconscious. The problem with this is that no amount of willpower can change the reality.

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Lauren DeStefano

I never wanted to live forever," she says. "I just wanted enough time.

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Lauren DeStefano

Maybe it is desperation. Maybe we can't let things fall apart without trying. We can't let go of the people we love.

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Lauren DeStefano

Cure" is one of the most precious words in the English language. It's a short word. A clean and simple word. But it isn't so easy a thing as it sounds. There are questions like: How will this affect us...

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Lauren DeStefano

Her mind is a bird that's trapped inside her skull, flapping and thrashing, never breaking free.

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Lauren DeStefano

Perhaps... you love too fiercely.

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Lauren DeStefano

The thing about hope is that it doesn't go away even when it serves no purpose.

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Lauren DeStefano

She has the majesty of hurricanes and explosions.

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Lauren DeStefano

I was born into a world that was already dying; I belong to it.

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Lauren DeStefano

Bet you never eat, he says. Bet you drink up the oxygen like it's butter. Bet you can go for days on nothing but thoughts.

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Lauren DeStefano

She's been conned, ruined, left for dead, and she's not going to forgive any of it. She will soldier on, if only out of spite.

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Lauren DeStefano

I like the idea of something greater than us. We destroy things with our curiosity. We shatter with our best intentions. We are no closer to perfection than we were one hundred years ago, or five hundred.

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Lauren DeStefano

I miss something I never even had.

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Lauren DeStefano

Maybe hope isn't the most dangerous thing a person can have. Maybe love is.

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Lauren DeStefano

Set fire to the broken pieces; start anew.

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Lauren DeStefano

Home?' I say. It's a word that can mean anywhere and nowhere.

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Lauren DeStefano

I think humans have always been desperate. I think it has always been about doing something awful if it might help, when the only other option is death. Maybe that's what being a parent is supposed to...

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Lauren DeStefano

Hope, that risky, illustrious thing. It should have gone extinct by now, but we keep it alive.

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Lauren DeStefano

There is a dark place calling to me, but I will not go just yet. I know I can't return from it.

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Lauren DeStefano

We are stronger than we've credited ourselves to be. We have been the victims and the witnesses. We have said a lifetime of good-byes.

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Lauren DeStefano

Give me time" "For you, always.

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Lauren DeStefano

There's a world out there that nobody has bothered to promise her.

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Lauren DeStefano

I think she's brave. I think that nobody has ever believed what she could be capable of. All her life, nobody was listening.

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Lauren DeStefano

There are so many of us, so many girls. The world wants us for our wombs or our bodies, or it doesn't want us at all.

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Lauren DeStefano

I've loved you since the day I stole the atlas for you," Gabriel says, because he thinks I'm asleep.

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Lauren DeStefano

To die trying would be better than to die without purpose.

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Lauren DeStefano

I think he's beginning to understand, and understanding is a horrible thing.

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Lauren DeStefano

It taught that there are three versions of things: the one I see in my mind, and the one that carries onto the paper, and then what it ultimately becomes.

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Lauren DeStefano

Even things that aren't broken can be fixed.

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Lauren DeStefano

Eventually I realize that I am holding on to him just as tightly as he holds on to me. And here we are: two small dying things, as the world ends around us like falling autumn leaves.

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Lauren DeStefano

Fate, I think, is a thief.

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Lauren DeStefano

My sisters were in that van.

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Lauren DeStefano

Times like this, when she slips her hand into mine and holds on tight, and our husband becomes just a shadow in the doorway.

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Lauren DeStefano

The world seems so clean if you only looked up.

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Lauren DeStefano

There's nothing here to say good-bye to. There's no dancing girl. No mischievous smile. She's gone, off with her sisters, broken free, escaped. And if she were here now, she would say, "Go.

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“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

― Dr. Seuss