Henry Cloud quote

"Don't go overboard in praising required behavior: 'We have only done our duty' (Luke 17:10). But do go overboard when your child confesses the truth, repents honestly, takes chances, and loves openly. Praise the developing character in your child as it emerges in active, loving, responsible behavior."

Henry Cloud

Born: 1956

Occupation: Clinical psychologist

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More quotes of Henry Cloud

Henry Cloud

Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.

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Henry Cloud

Diligence is not easy, but we can't reach our goals without it.

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A leader's responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.

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Henry Cloud

The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. You cannot have one with out the other. If someone is given an area of responsibility, not only must they be set free to do...

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We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

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Henry Cloud

If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part...

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Henry Cloud

Don't go overboard in praising required behavior: 'We have only done our duty' (Luke 17:10). But do go overboard when your child confesses the truth, repents honestly, takes chances, and loves openly....

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Henry Cloud

Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks...

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Henry Cloud

Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children's most primitive fears.

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Henry Cloud

Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great...

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Henry Cloud

We all make mistakes, but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.

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Henry Cloud

Grief is accepting the reality of what is. That is grief's job and purpose-to allow us to come to terms with the way things really are, so that we can move on. Grief is a gift of God. Without it, we would...

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Henry Cloud

A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.

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Henry Cloud

The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!

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Henry Cloud

Leadership is not taken, it is given. People give leadership to those that they trust. They allow people that they trust to have influence over their lives.

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Henry Cloud

When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility....

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Henry Cloud

When we ask we are owning our needs. Asking for love, comfort or understanding is a transaction between two people. You are saying: I have a need. It's not your problem. It's not your responsibility. You...

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Henry Cloud

Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

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Henry Cloud

The Bible is clear about two principles: (1) We always need to forgive, but (2) we don’t always achieve reconciliation. Forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts; we release someone from a debt...

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Henry Cloud

If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.

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Henry Cloud

One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach...

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Henry Cloud

Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.

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Henry Cloud

Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they...

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Henry Cloud

The human heart will seek to be known, understood, and connected with above all else. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will.

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Henry Cloud

Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.

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Henry Cloud

The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.

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Henry Cloud

The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.

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Henry Cloud

Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as "Taking," you are not getting it.

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Henry Cloud

Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.

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Henry Cloud

You aren't alive if you aren't in need.

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Henry Cloud

A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.

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Henry Cloud

The opposite of bad is not good.The opposite of bad is love

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Henry Cloud

In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow.

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Henry Cloud

Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.

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Henry Cloud

The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that's present.

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Henry Cloud

To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

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Henry Cloud

The natural response to evaluation is to feel judged. We have to mature to a place where we respond to it with gratitude, and love feedback.

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Henry Cloud

Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

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Henry Cloud

Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.

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Henry Cloud

Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.

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Henry Cloud

Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.

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Henry Cloud

Encourage literally came from "in courage." The courage is put "into" you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.

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Henry Cloud

There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone....

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Henry Cloud

Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.

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Henry Cloud

Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.

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Henry Cloud

When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain.

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Henry Cloud

He is the Truth, and He wants us to deal in truth with ourselves and our loved ones. We want the truth about you and your family to flood into and overrun the secrets that keep you in bondage to dysfunctional...

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Henry Cloud

When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability...

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Henry Cloud

Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date.

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Henry Cloud

Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.

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Related quote

Henry Cloud

Don't go overboard in praising required behavior: 'We have only done our duty' (Luke 17:10). But do go overboard when your child confesses the truth, repents honestly, takes chances, and loves openly....

Read more


Joyce Meyer

Every person who confesses that Christ Jesus is Lord, repents of their sin and gives their heart to God is a child of God and belongs to Him. And in Christ, we are made right with God, we are His righteousness,...

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Margaret J. Wheatley

In this new world, you and I make it up as we go along, not because we lack expertise or planning skills, but because that is the nature of reality. Reality changes shape and meaning because of our activity....

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Joel Osteen

The great news is that God knows everything about you, both good and bad, and He still loves you and values you unconditionally. God does not always approve of our behavior. He is not pleased when we go...

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Suzanne Somers

You know, as long as you do everything in moderation, you don't go overboard, you don't, you know, turn your lips into guppy lips - I mean, a little zip or a little zap, that is not a big deal.

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Herman Melville

So, when on one side you hoist in Locke's head, you go over that way; but now, on the other side, hoist in Kant's and you come back again; but in very poor plight. Thus, some minds for ever keep trimming...

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Dana Hill

I used the diabetes as my weapon. Of course, I was only hurting myself and making myself sicker, but I guess it was something I had to go through. I never went overboard so much that I really hurt myself,...

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Og Mandino

Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding...

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Daniel Tammet

When I was a child, my behavior was far from being what most people would label 'intelligent.' It was often limited, repetitive and anti-social. I could not do many of the things that most people take...

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Urie Bronfenbrenner

The primary danger of the television screen lies not so much in the behavior it produces as the behavior it prevents-the talks, the games, the family activities and the arguments through which much of...

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Homer

If you are one of earth’s inhabitants, how blest your father, and your gentle mother, blest all your kin. I know what happiness must send the warm tears to their eyes, each time they see their wondrous...

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Joshua L. Liebman

The moment comes when the great nurse, death, takes a human, the child, by the hand and quietly says, "It is time to go home. Night is coming. It is your bedtime, child of earth. Come; you're tired. Lie...

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Betty Smith

It is a good thing to learn the truth one's self. To first believe with all your heart, and then not to believe, is good too. It fattens the emotions and makes them to stretch. When as a woman life and...

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Robert A. Heinlein

Our behavior is different. How often have you seen a headline like this?--TWO DIE ATTEMPTING RESCUE OF DROWNING CHILD. If a man gets lost in the mountains, hundreds will search and often two or three searchers...

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Charles Duhigg

The biggest moment of flexibility in our shopping habits is when we have a child, because all of your old routines go out the window, and suddenly a marketer can come in and sell you new things.

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Yann Martel

I thought they were helping me. I was so full of trust in them that I felt grateful as they carried me in the air. Only when they threw me overboard did I begin to have doubts.

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David Lynch

I love child things because there's so much mystery when you're a child. When you're a child, something as simple as a tree doesn't make sense. You see it in the distance and it looks small, but as you...

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Robin Hobb

In that last dance of chances I shall partner you no more. I shall watch another turn you As you move across the floor. In that last dance of chances When I bid your life goodbye I will hope she treats...

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Rajneesh

Buddha says: Remember, you have to do much, but the ultimate always happens when you are not doing anything. It happens in a let-go. PRANIHAN IS the state of let-go. You do all that you can do; it will...

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Paulo Coelho

Our imagination is larger than the world around us; we go beyond our limits. This used to be called 'witchcraft,' but fortunately things have changed, otherwise we would both already have been burned...

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Myles Munroe

When we evaluate the rightness or wrongness of actions or behavior, we need to ask ourselves if that behavior will edify—build up—ourselves or someone else, or if it will tear down. The question is...

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“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

― Dr. Seuss