Henry Cloud quote

"Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen."

Henry Cloud

Born: 1956

Occupation: Clinical psychologist

Comment

More quotes of Henry Cloud

Henry Cloud

Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Diligence is not easy, but we can't reach our goals without it.

Read more


Henry Cloud

A leader's responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.

Read more


Henry Cloud

The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. You cannot have one with out the other. If someone is given an area of responsibility, not only must they be set free to do...

Read more


Henry Cloud

We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

Read more


Henry Cloud

If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part...

Read more


Henry Cloud

Don't go overboard in praising required behavior: 'We have only done our duty' (Luke 17:10). But do go overboard when your child confesses the truth, repents honestly, takes chances, and loves openly....

Read more


Henry Cloud

Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks...

Read more


Henry Cloud

Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children's most primitive fears.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great...

Read more


Henry Cloud

We all make mistakes, but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Grief is accepting the reality of what is. That is grief's job and purpose-to allow us to come to terms with the way things really are, so that we can move on. Grief is a gift of God. Without it, we would...

Read more


Henry Cloud

A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.

Read more


Henry Cloud

The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!

Read more


Henry Cloud

Leadership is not taken, it is given. People give leadership to those that they trust. They allow people that they trust to have influence over their lives.

Read more


Henry Cloud

When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility....

Read more


Henry Cloud

When we ask we are owning our needs. Asking for love, comfort or understanding is a transaction between two people. You are saying: I have a need. It's not your problem. It's not your responsibility. You...

Read more


Henry Cloud

Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

Read more


Henry Cloud

The Bible is clear about two principles: (1) We always need to forgive, but (2) we don’t always achieve reconciliation. Forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts; we release someone from a debt...

Read more


Henry Cloud

If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.

Read more


Henry Cloud

One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach...

Read more


Henry Cloud

Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they...

Read more


Henry Cloud

The human heart will seek to be known, understood, and connected with above all else. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.

Read more


Henry Cloud

The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.

Read more


Henry Cloud

The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as "Taking," you are not getting it.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.

Read more


Henry Cloud

You aren't alive if you aren't in need.

Read more


Henry Cloud

A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.

Read more


Henry Cloud

The opposite of bad is not good.The opposite of bad is love

Read more


Henry Cloud

In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.

Read more


Henry Cloud

The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that's present.

Read more


Henry Cloud

To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

Read more


Henry Cloud

The natural response to evaluation is to feel judged. We have to mature to a place where we respond to it with gratitude, and love feedback.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Encourage literally came from "in courage." The courage is put "into" you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.

Read more


Henry Cloud

There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone....

Read more


Henry Cloud

Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.

Read more


Henry Cloud

When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain.

Read more


Henry Cloud

He is the Truth, and He wants us to deal in truth with ourselves and our loved ones. We want the truth about you and your family to flood into and overrun the secrets that keep you in bondage to dysfunctional...

Read more


Henry Cloud

When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability...

Read more


Henry Cloud

Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date.

Read more


Henry Cloud

Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.

Read more



Related quote

Henry Cloud

Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.

Read more


Paul Washer

There is no such thing as biblical dating. If you're dating, I don't care who you're dating, you're out of God's will. If you're a young man and you're dating, you're out of God's will. Period. You can...

Read more


Ellen DeGeneres

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not...

Read more


Carrie Vaughn

Next caller. Betty, you're on the air. What's your question ?" "Hi, Kitty. I just wanted to know, are you going out with that Cormac guy from last month?" My jaw dropped. "What?" "Are you going out with...

Read more


Seraphim Rose

When conversion takes place, the process of revelation occurs in a very simple way — a person is in need, he suffers, and then somehow the other world opens up. The more you are in suffering and difficulties...

Read more


Thomas a Kempis

He has great tranquillity of heart who cares neither for the praises nor the fault-finding of men. He will easily be content and pacified, whose conscience is pure. You are not holier if you are praised,...

Read more


Daniel Handler

It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up...

Read more


Nicole Scherzinger

Girl power is about loving yourself and having confidence and strength from within, so even if you're not wearing a sexy outfit, you feel sexy. That sexy stuff just happened to be part of our wardrobe,...

Read more


Jennifer Baumgardner

What I'm asserting is that we are looking at bisexuality the wrong way, making the identity entirely dependent on someone other that the bisexual person him- or herself. If I'm dating a man, I'm straight....

Read more


Usher

Breaking up is a natural evolution when you try to figure out what you want in life. If you're with an individual who isn't moving in the same direction and at the same rate that you are, it ain't going...

Read more


Seneca the Younger

If you are bent on assuming a pose and never reveal yourself to anyone frankly, in the fashion of many who live a false life that is all made up for show; for it is torturous to be constantly watching...

Read more


Cynthia Leive

Seriously, if you complain about going to a Paris fashion show, you have officially lost all perspective on life as we know it. And I have little kids who are hard to be away from sometimes when school's...

Read more


Boyd K. Packer

Get to Know Yourself Once you start getting acquainted with yourselves, finding out who you are and where you belong and who your relatives are, spiritually speaking as well as in the earthly frame of...

Read more


Susane Colasanti

One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and won't let you be anything less. They see the potential of you. They see endless possibilities. And through...

Read more


Nancy Kress

What characters do must grow out of who they are, and who they are is, in turn, influenced by what you make happen to them.

Read more


April Masini

There is a lot of relief for daters who are serious about wanting to be in a relationship. This comes in the form of what appears to be dramatic changes like speed dating and Internet dating.

Read more


Thomas Merton

First of all, although men have a common destiny, each individual also has to work out his own personal salvation for himself in fear and trembling. We can help one another to find the meaning of life...

Read more


Tom DeLay

You know, there is an argument to be made that these extensions of unemployment benefits keep people from going and finding jobs. In fact there are some studies that have been done that show people stay...

Read more


Henry Ford

There are two ways of making yourself stand out from the crowd. One is by having a job so big you can go home before the bell rings if you want to. The other is by finding so much to do that you must stay...

Read more


Lauren London

Whatever your ethnicity is, in this life you are going to be on a journey to discover who you are and how you feel about yourself.

Read more


Henri Nouwen

The Question is not how much are you going to accomplish? Or can you show some results? But are you in love with Jesus? In our world of brokeness and despair, there is an enormous need for men and women...

Read more


“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

― Dr. Seuss