Emily Giffin quote

"Whats not to love is hardly a reason to love. And the catch of your life is not the same thing as the love of your life. Be careful of that subtle but rather crucial distinction."

Emily Giffin

Born: March 20, 1972

Occupation: Author

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More quotes of Emily Giffin

Emily Giffin

...love is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together.

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Emily Giffin

There is no better audience for someone in love than someone in love.

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Emily Giffin

We are in love and meant to be together.

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Emily Giffin

And without Dex in my life, I like to think I could have somehow found contentment. But the truth is, I feel freer with Dex than I ever did when I was single. I feel more myself with him than without....

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Emily Giffin

In the final seconds before sleep, I wish I could go back and undo everything, give those little girls another chance.

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Emily Giffin

Although I'm sure there are plenty of tall, gorgeous, life-of-the-party guys who are also true to their wives, I happen to believe that a disproportionate number of them are cheaters.

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Emily Giffin

I still think I love him more. It's one of those things you never know for certain because there's no way to enter all the relationship data in a computer and have it spit out a definitive answer. You...

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Emily Giffin

There are two kinds of women--those who eat in a crisis and those who lose their appetite in a crisis.

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Emily Giffin

I spend the rest of the afternoon trying to explain to Zoe one of the very saddest notions in love and life: sometimes the timing is wrong--and sometimes you realize the heart of the matter way to late...

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Emily Giffin

As everyone applauds and sips champagne, I smile back at Rachel, thinking she got it just right. Love and friendship. They are what makes us who we are and what can change us, if we let them.

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Emily Giffin

Sweetened ice tea is one of the things I love about the South, right up there with homemade biscuits and cheese grits.

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Emily Giffin

There are no absolutes in relationships. You can't take anything for granted. You can count on absolutely nothing but the unexpected. You only get in trouble when you start thinking that you're some kind...

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Emily Giffin

It's the worst thing to fall in love with someone who will never stop disappointing you...

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Emily Giffin

The feeling I have reminds me of New Year’s Eve, when the countdown is coming and I’m not quite sure whether to grab my camera or just live in the moment. Usually I grab the camera and later regret...

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Emily Giffin

Looking back, I question whether I really loved Nate, or just the security of our relationship. I wonder if my feelings for him didn’t have a lot to do with hating my job. From the bar exam through that...

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Emily Giffin

I don’t know. She was a sweet girl. As sweet as they come. I don’t know why I didn’t love her. It’s something you can’t really control.

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Emily Giffin

You can only control your own actions. Not other people’s reactions.

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Emily Giffin

What appeals to you the most is the very thing that will drive you crazy

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Emily Giffin

I find my voice and manage to say those three one-syllable words back to him. Words I haven't uttered in a very, very long time. Words that meant nothing before now.

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Emily Giffin

Every couple has two stories - the edited one to be shared from the couch and the unabridged version best left alone.

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Emily Giffin

Instead of relief or gratitude, more guilt washes over me. Andy's certainly not faultless - no one ever is in a marriage

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Emily Giffin

How different this moment feels, for so many reasons. I tell myself that no two loves are identical - but that I don't have to compare anymore.

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Emily Giffin

No scratch the word "career". Careers are people who wish to advance. I only want to survive, draw a paycheck. This is merely a job. I can take or leave this place. I start to imagine quitting and following...

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Emily Giffin

And although one broken heart doesn't make me an expert in the subject, I believe you need both things - time and an emotional replacement - to fully mend one.

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Emily Giffin

Love as a verb. Love as a commitment.

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Emily Giffin

i want to make it official, i want to make it forever

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Emily Giffin

Then he continues his rant,saying, "And even if I didn't know them, I know their type." "And what type is that?" she asks,leaning foward in her chair,yearning for confirmation that he gets it,that they...

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Emily Giffin

He was uncomplicated and upbeat and easy. At one point, I might have thought these traits made him a simpleton, but now I think they just translate to happiness.

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Emily Giffin

Throughout the ordeal, I learned that getting mad was easier than being sad. Anger was something I could control. I could settle into an easy rhythm of blame and hate. Focus my energy on something than...

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Emily Giffin

When you’re in love, sometimes you have to swallow your pride, and sometimes you have to keep your pride. It’s a balance. But when the relationship is right, you find the balance.

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Emily Giffin

We both have a lot of growing-up to do... A lot of the world to see & figure out on our own." -- Leo

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Emily Giffin

I have one final hope, If I get double sixes, maybe he will change his mind, come back to me. As if to cast a magic spell, I blow on the dice just as Dex did...Just as it happened with our first roll,...

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Emily Giffin

Maybe the thing to do after you roll the dice-and lose-is simply pick them up and roll them again.

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Emily Giffin

The whole "misery loves company" thing never applies more than when you're breaking up. The thought that the other person is doing fine is simply too much to bear.

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Emily Giffin

You can't quantify love, and if you try, you can wind up focusing on misleading factors.

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Emily Giffin

Love is seldom—almost never—an even proposition. Someone always loves more.

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Emily Giffin

Sorrow comes with so many defense mechanisms. You have your shock, your denial, your getting wasted, your cracking jokes, and your religion. You also have the old standby catchall—the blind belief in...

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Emily Giffin

I learned that getting mad was easier than being sad.

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Emily Giffin

I will find the good in this loss. I will make something happen that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

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Emily Giffin

Whenever you make a big decision in life, at least any decision where you have a viable alternative, there is an inevitable uneasy aftermath. Anxiety is merely a sign that you're taking something seriously.

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Emily Giffin

No matter what the circumstances. I am more like most men in this regard. No second chances. It's not so much about morality, but about my inability to forgive. I'm a champion grudge holder, and I don't...

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Emily Giffin

There is no grief like heartbreak.

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Emily Giffin

there is always something comforting about knowing that you are not alone. That other people feel the way you do. That you are a bit screwed up, but still normal.

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Emily Giffin

Don't you wish we could pick the people we love?" "Yeah," I say. "Or just make the people we love want the same things we want.

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Emily Giffin

you'd do anything to get a soul mate back, right?… I mean, that's the nature of soul mates.

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Emily Giffin

Well, because sometimes you love someone but they might not be the right person for you. That takes some time to figure out

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Emily Giffin

Nothing is ever perfect. It is what you make of it.

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Emily Giffin

Songs and smells will bring you back to a moment in time more than anything else. It's amazing how much can be conjured with a few notes of a song or a solitary whiff of a room. A song you didn't even...

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Emily Giffin

But I have learned that you make your own happiness, that part of going for what you want means losing something else. And when the stakes are high, the losses can be that much greater.

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Emily Giffin

Anxiety was not an emotion I could ever remember feeling when I went out in New York, and I wondered why tonight felt so different. Maybe it was because I no longer had a boyfriend or fiance. I suddenly...

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Emily Giffin

Love and friendship. They are what make us who we are, and what can change us, if we let them.

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Emily Giffin

Surely he knows we are all watching. That I am watching. It is always that way when you are in a group and someone decides to go for a swim or walk to the water. The ocean is a giant stage. It is natural...

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Emily Giffin

But one thing I have to say about Darcy and dating is this: she never blew us off for a guy. She always put her friends first- which is an amazing thing for a high school girl to do.

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Emily Giffin

I'm going to keep seeing him as much as I can. We'll see what happens," I say, realizing that just "seeing what happens" is my version of "going for it.

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Emily Giffin

Then he asks if he can kiss me. It is a question I don’t usually like. Just do it, I always think.

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Emily Giffin

You’ll never regret being a good friend.

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Emily Giffin

What's the point of being sad?" he says. "We're here now.

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Emily Giffin

What every girl dreams of when she's dumped is - that the guy will someday feel regrest and come back and tell her all about it. And the beauty of it is you have no regrets whatsoever.

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Emily Giffin

It's like when someone dies, the initial stages of grief seem to be the worst. But in some ways, it's sadder as time goes by and you consider how much they've missed in your life. In the world.

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Emily Giffin

But I am learning that perfection isn't what matters. In fact, it's the very thing that can destroy you if you let it.

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Emily Giffin

When you are in a relationship, you are aware that it might end. You might grow apart, find someone else, simply fall out of love. But a friendship isn't a zero-sum game, and as such, you assume that it...

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Emily Giffin

I do not expect to get what I want, so I don't. And I don't even try.

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Emily Giffin

And then there is our personal history. Memories only we share. Things not another living soul would understand.

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Emily Giffin

ONE MORE CHNCE. Words that my mother heard, more than once. Words that women debate. Whether you CAN forgive and whether you SHOULD trust. I think of all the judgment from society, friends, and family,...

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Emily Giffin

Yet here we are, two children and a broken promise later, standing before each other, just the way we stood that day at the alter, with equal parts love and hope. And once again, I close my eyes, ready...

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Emily Giffin

The person who wants out of the relationship always gets her way.

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Emily Giffin

People generally didn't cheat in good relationships.

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Emily Giffin

It's amazing to me how few guys know their friends' birthdays.

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Emily Giffin

Blurring the line between friendship and attraction was a surefire to lose a friend.

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Emily Giffin

This time, I whispered that I loved him too. Then, I silently listed all the reason: I loved him for his gentleness. I loved him for being an amazing catch yet still vulnerable enough to be insecure. But...

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Emily Giffin

I try to write about real women, real people - in other words flawed characters. I find flawed characters much more interesting than perfect ones and enjoy the challenge of making readers root for them...

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Emily Giffin

But certainly not everyday you can find someone who wants to have a monogamous relationship

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Emily Giffin

but i am content to live in the moment, and allow myself the daily pleasure of obsessing. nothing lasts forever, i tell myself. especially the good stuff. although typically you aren't faced with a hard...

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Emily Giffin

Sure, we were friends who exchanged soulful glances, friends who slept in a bed filled with sexual tension, friends who found any excuse to touch, but I worried that we'd never take that perilous leap...

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Emily Giffin

...recognizing that there is more heartbreak in continuous disappointment than a void...

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Emily Giffin

It was the same night I gave myself to him completely, knowing that I would belong to him for as long as he wanted to keep me. And, as it turned out, even longer than that.

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Emily Giffin

You don't have to talk to someone to think about them and check up on them now and again.

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Emily Giffin

This is why you should never, ever get your hopes up. This is why you should see the glass as half empty. So when the whole thing spills, you aren’t as devastated.

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Emily Giffin

I had seen the light, come to believe that a wedding should be about a feeling between two people, not a show for the masses...It was a magical, romantic evening, and although I occasionally wish I had...

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Emily Giffin

The worst thing about this particular end (of my youth) and the beginning (of middle age) is that for the first time in my life, I realize I don't know where I'm going. My wants are simple: a job that...

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Emily Giffin

No, scratch the word "career." Careers are for people who wish to advance. I only want to survive, draw a paycheck.

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Emily Giffin

True love is supposed to make you into a better person-uplift you.

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Emily Giffin

(mother)" She used to tell me to get my nose out of my book and go get some fresh air.

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Emily Giffin

You see yourself as very average, ordinary. And there is nothing ordinary about you, Rachel." (Something Borrowed)

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Emily Giffin

Everyone wants to belong, or be a part of something bigger than themselves, but it's important to follow your heart and be true to yourself in the process.

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Emily Giffin

Guilt is a supreme waste of time and energy.

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Emily Giffin

It's a funny thing - when I'm crazed with work, spending time with my children relaxes me. Yet, at the end of a long weekend with them, the very thing I need to relax is a little work and time away from...

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Emily Giffin

Luck is buying a lottery ticket along with your Yoo-hoo and striking it rich. Nothing about my life is lucky- it is all about hard work, it is all uphill struggle.

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Emily Giffin

And like a favorite old movie, sometimes the sameness in a friend is what you like the most about her.

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Emily Giffin

Things certainly aren't the way you imagine them when you're a kid and dreaming big dreams about what your life as a grown-up will look like.

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Emily Giffin

I think of how each person in a marriage owes it to the other to find individual happiness, even in a shared life. That this is the only way to grow together, instead of apart.

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Emily Giffin

In days that follow, I discover that anger is easier to handle than grief.

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Emily Giffin

His loyalty, so fierce and unwavering, makes my eyes water and heart ache.

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Emily Giffin

My head spins as I glance away, refusing to get sucked back into his gaze when so much is at risk.

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Emily Giffin

It was about grace, she decides, something that has been missing from her own life. ... She wants to be the kind of person who can bestow unearned kindness on another, replace bitterness with empathy,...

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Emily Giffin

Buried beneath disappointment and fear, anger and pride, I just might find it in my heart to forgive.

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Emily Giffin

But now I can see that there is redemption and beauty in an accident emanating from love.

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Emily Giffin

Whats not to love is hardly a reason to love. And the catch of your life is not the same thing as the love of your life. Be careful of that subtle but rather crucial distinction.

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Emily Giffin

Throw in the intensity of emotions that come with that bittersweet summer sandwiched between high school graduation and the rest of your life...

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Emily Giffin

My name is Kirby Rose, and I'm adopted. I don't mean to make it sound like an AA confession, although sometimes that's how people take it, like it's something they should be supportive about. I just mean...

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Emily Giffin

Even if we no longer have much in common, we would have always had the past, which, in some ways, is just as important as the present or future. It is where we come from, what makes us who we are.

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Emily Giffin

I'm glad you were both here," I finally manage, thinking how strange it is to be standing with the two people who made you, something most kids take for granted every day of their lives.

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Emily Giffin

Change can be good but its always tough to let go of the past

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Emily Giffin

One way isn't better than the other; they're just different.

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Emily Giffin

He threw in the towel before we were tested. Maybe because he didn't want to be tested. Maybe because he assumed we would fail. Maybe because, at the time, he just didn't love me enough.

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Emily Giffin

I miss us, too. I always have, and probably always will

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Emily Giffin

I had never understood what people meant when they said they'd rather be alone if they couldn't be in the right relationship. Now I got it.

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Emily Giffin

But I have learned that you can't just create your own timetable and will it to come true.

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Emily Giffin

Life's not black-and-white. Sometimes the ends justifies the means.

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Emily Giffin

She wonders what fool ever said that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all - she has never disagreed with something so much.

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Emily Giffin

It always takes two. For relationships to work, for them to break apart, for them to be fixed.

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Emily Giffin

Evident in every small act of kindness, it was love as a verb. Love that made me feel more complete than I had ever felt in my glamorous, Jimmy Choo filled past.

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Emily Giffin

My wants are simple: a job that I like and a guy whom I love.

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Emily Giffin

I nod, thinking of how difficult marriage can be, how much effort is required to sustain a feeling between two people - a feeling that you can't imagine will ever fade in the beginning when everything...

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Emily Giffin

Really-nothing is unforgivable if you truly love someone.

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Emily Giffin

I don't break up, I trade up

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Emily Giffin

Where we belong is often where we least expect to find ourselves—a place that we may have willed ourselves to forget, but that the heart remembers forever.

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Emily Giffin

Happiness is the best revenge, you know? Just be happy. It's a choice.

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Emily Giffin

When I meet someone I like being with more than I like being alone, I'll marry her.

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Emily Giffin

i wish i could freeze this moment, somehow delay my final decision, and just hang here in the balance between two places, two worlds, two loves.

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Emily Giffin

There are two kinds of sorry. There is the sorry imbued with regret. And a pure sorry. The kind that is merely asking for forgiveness, nothing more.

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Emily Giffin

It's simply human nature to have an occasional, fleeting interest in someone whom you once loved.

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Emily Giffin

Things are what they are and there's no point dwelling in the past or wondering what could have been.

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Emily Giffin

He who fails to plan, plans to fail.

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Emily Giffin

Anything worthwhile is tough.

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Emily Giffin

The world is not that black and white, Rachel. There are no moral absolutes. It is complex.

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Emily Giffin

And then there is Darcy. She is a woman who believes that things should fall into her lap, and, consequently, they do. They always have. She wins because she expects to win. I do not expect what I want,...

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Emily Giffin

I think the issue of female friendship really resonates well with women, ... So many women have a friend like Darcy or can relate to the feeling of being second-fiddle to a friend.

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Emily Giffin

I wondered why I was so startled by the encounter when there was something that seemed utterly inevitable about the moment. Not in any grand, destined sense; just in the quiet, stubborn way that unfinished...

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Emily Giffin

Hush little baby, Dont you cry, Dont cut your arms, Dont say goodbye. Put down that razor, Put down that light, It maybe hard but, You'll win this fight.

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Emily Giffin

You can run but you can't hide

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Emily Giffin

I remember that my mother once told me that the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

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Emily Giffin

It's like Brad Pitt for us. You might not like blond men with pretty features, but c'mon, it's Brad. You're not going to kick him out of bed for eating crackers.

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Emily Giffin

We are one of those couples i used to watch, thinking to myself that I'd never be on the inside of something so special. I remember reassuring myself that it probably looked nicer than it actually was,...

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Emily Giffin

But now we have time. Endless time stretches before us.

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Emily Giffin

I love him wholly and unconditionally and without reservation. I love him enough to sacrifice a friendship. I love him enough to accept my own happiness and use it, in turn, to make him happy back.

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Emily Giffin

I think I hoped for something more. Maybe I even hoped that I could find in Richard what I had with Ben. But it is suddenly very clear: Richard is not fallin in love with me and I'm not falling in love...

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Emily Giffin

Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that...

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Emily Giffin

You can't quantify love, and if you try, you can end up focusing on misleading factors. Stuff that really has more to do with personality-the fact that some people are simply more expressive or emotional...

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Emily Giffin

I miss him in so many ways, but right now I miss him in the way you always miss someone when you're single among a room full of couples.

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Emily Giffin

Did she ever regret her choices? Were her decisions more clear-cut than mine - or are there always shades of gray whe it comes to matters of the heart?

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Emily Giffin

You can love someone you mistrust.

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Emily Giffin

I think of how life takes unexpected twists and turns, sometimes through sheer happenstance, sometimes through calculated decisions. In the end, it can all be called fate, but to me, it is more a matter...

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Emily Giffin

He nods, as if to acknowledge that endings are almost always a little sad, even when there is something to look forward to on the other side.

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Emily Giffin

Despite the fact that I have no regrets about how things turned out in my life, I still can't help wanting to understand my intense relationship with Leo, as well as that turbulent time between adolescence...

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Emily Giffin

A son is a son 'til he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life.

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Emily Giffin

[The] maid of honor - the unambiguous, grown-up equivalent of wearing best friend necklaces.

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Emily Giffin

After all, I think, isn't it always about a boy?

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Emily Giffin

What if two people want to be your partner, then what?

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Related quote

Emily Giffin

Whats not to love is hardly a reason to love. And the catch of your life is not the same thing as the love of your life. Be careful of that subtle but rather crucial distinction.

Read more


Bo Sanchez

For crying out loud, stop comparing and start living! And you'll be happier with your life, I guarantee. This is crucial: the most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not. Pretending and...

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George Lois

Follow your bliss. That which you love you must spend your life doing, as passionately and as perfectly as your heart, mind and instincts allow. The sooner you identify that bliss, which surely resides...

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Whitney Houston

To learn your artistry and to be able to perfect that, is overwhelming. Especially when you are exuding love. The human emotion is a very delicate thing, so you have to be careful about how you present...

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Pope Francis

[T]he "home" represents the most precious human treasures, that of encounter, that of relations among people, different in age, culture and history, but who live together and together help one another...

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Henry Cloud

One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach...

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Daniel Quinn

What is crucial to your survival as a race is not the redistribution of power and wealth within the prison but rather the destruction of the prison itself.

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Marianne Williamson

The key to a successful career is realizing that it's not separate from the rest of your life, but is rather an extension of your most basic self. And your most basic self is love.

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Patrick Rothfuss

So yes. It had flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart? We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love...

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John Climacus

Everything is possible for the believer. I have watched impure souls mad for physical love but turning what they know of such love into a reason for penance and transferring that same capacity for love...

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Carter Heyward

Love is a choice — not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guide. Love is a conversion to humanity — a willingness to participate...

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Elizabeth Gilbert

Problem is, you can’t accept that his relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby – you’re just lickin’ at the empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out...

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Frederick Buechner

Not to love is, psychically, spiritually, to die. To live for yourself alone, hoarding your life for your own sake, is in almost every sense that matters to reduce your life to a life hardly worth the...

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Timothy Keller

You can only afford to be generous if you actually have some money in the bank to give. In the same way, if your only source of love and meaning is your spouse, then anytime he or she fails you, it will...

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John Shelby Spong

I do not think of God theistically, that is, as a being, supernatural in power, who dwells beyond the limits of my world. I rather experience God as the source of life willing me to live fully, the source...

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Rajneesh

Being in deep devotion comes as a surprise the first time, because it is so difficult for people to feel even love, and devotion is the highest form of love... just the essential fragrance of love. If...

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J. I. Packer

The Puritan ethic of marriage was first to look not for a partner whom you do love passionately at this moment but rather for one whom you can love steadily as your best friend for life, then to proceed...

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Fulton J. Sheen

Most of us love a non-self, or something extrinsic and apart from our inner life; but a mother's love during the time she is a flesh-and-blood ciborium is not for a non-self but for one that is her very...

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Tonya Hurley

Some people live their lives as if each day will be their last. Some approach love the same way, in a desperate attempt to outrun the tiny changes or huge ones that are always looming on each of our horizons....

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Rajneesh

Life is nothing but an opportunity for love to blossom. If you are alive, the opportunity is there - even to the last breath. You may have missed your whole life: just the last breath, the last moment...

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Ken Dychtwald

Love seems to be the appreciation that we are all little lumps in the same earthly soup which is a little lump in a larger cosmic soup. So, love is an awareness of this beautiful energetic relationship...

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“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

― Dr. Seuss